Nerds unite.

Josh and I talked about emotions tonight((rivetting, I know)). It turns out that neither one of us has very many.

Love, par example, is something I give to everyone. I know that I don't know Truth yet, and therefore don't know love. But I love with all I have to give. ((Perhaps I will find it in my next lifetime?)) Anyhow.. most of the time, I feel as if I am closer to knowing love than many of the people around me; yet at the same time, I feel as if I have such a ways to go. I am not yet capable of true, unconditional love, but I offer what I have. It is still difficult for me not to indulge in the effortless high that goes along with "falling in love," but I feel as though I am making some effort. Enough on that subject, because I have a mental picture of you sitting there, scratching your head in utter confusion.

Anger is something that I have been working on especially. I have made the commitment not to get angry anymore. Anger is so destructive and useless, unless you are using it for survival, which I'm not. I am now able to control my actions, but still incapable of ridding myself of the white hot flash that crosses my mind. In that milisecond it's hard not to give in to the temptation of anger, because it feels so good, so powerful. More thoughts on this later.

Satisfaction and pleasure... for some reason, I find that most of mine comes from pleasing other people. It is rare for me to enjoy the mere presence of someone's company. Most of the time if I am not getting positive feedback, I am uncomfortable. In this sense, I would seem to be a very BAD girlfriend, because my pleasure is mirrored from my partner. My intensity depends on their's - or what I think their's is. [insert your deeper thoughts here] There are a few people who this excludes. And for those of you who this DOES apply to, it's nothing personal, just a flaw in my nature.

If you read through all of that, you deserve an oatmeal cookie, and when I get back home I will present you with one. ^.^

Eternal <3 and peace,
.Cap'n.